A Rude Awakening

You know you’ve spent too long on social media over the last 14 days when you actually laugh and find the below trends relatable, if not, completely ridiculous. But let’s be honest, with majority of the world’s civilised population under house arrest, we are all beginning to go mad and I’m one of them. My participation being the Dalgona coffee.

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I’m currently typing this with a 4 year old sheet mask that I bought from my trip in Sth Korea in 2017. I bulk bought 84 pieces, with the promises of ‘baby smooth skin’, which is exactly what I need to show the world once I emerge from this quarantine. Baby Smooth Skin.

Jokes aside. I have been dry coughing over the last 10 days or so, essentially the whole time of my house arrest. Things have been just that, aside from the placebo effects of having shortness of breathe and thinking I’m gonna die… until today, when I developed chills and body aches.

My temperature has been relatively stable at 37.5 (Celsius)  or under, largely above 37 through the in ear thermometer. I’m not sure if my current symptoms have been resulted by the obsessive refreshing of COVID-19 on my phone and TV, or that I have been really infected. The national COVID hotline says I do not qualify for testing and that I should wait…. 14 days. Which is till next Monday. DO. BETTER. AUSTRALIA.

Like many privileged young asians growing up, I was exposed to a largely more western upbringing, with a reasonable exposure to western media. My young naive self used to even think I was a step above the rest of my Asian peers back home because of my birthright as an Australian, how dumb, I admit. This was also largely influenced by our own parents, who deemed the West having a better education and sending us abroad to continue our studies. The peers I mixed with had a pretty similar upbringing with myself and we looked up towards the western influences, as if, somehow or a rather, they were deemed superior in terms of civilisation or some sort. (Admitting this makes my blood curl)

But it took years, including my move back to Australia, to realise the mistakes and the idiocy I had as a child and the way we were brought up. I began to appreciate my culture, in fact embraced it all the more as I lived in a more westernised society. I was appalled by the way my white co-workers found a part of Asian culture foreign, such as bubble tea. When I had accustomed myself to so many of their ways, how dare to they not recognise a part of my own? It then brought to my realisation, that we asians have been so much more cultured in both western and eastern influences due to our unconscious idolisation of the west. While the west, have been so comfortable in their own ways and being reassured by various other cultures (like ourselves), that their ways are indeed, superior. Why do they need to get acquainted with stuff like bubble tea and udon when they have Starbucks and Pasta???

COVID-19 has been a rude awakening for us all.

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I believe the graph speaks for itself. The flattening of the curve and the successful curbing of the virus, has been in predominantly developed Asian countries. Heck, even Malaysia, the developing nation I grew up in that had a bigger spike than Australia last week, has successfully beat Australia in maintaining a lower number of infection rates because of quick decisive Government action (and their Gov is shit). This speaks volumes.

The western countries that we have historically looked up upon are currently in shambles, receiving aid from the country that created the outbreak itself, CHINA.

I don’t know who needs to read this, or if you’re that asian kid watching Netflix/Disney right now wishing that your hair was blonde. Trust me honey, save that energy of pointless admiration. Stand proud. Believe in our abilities.

True resilience comes from those who have risen from western oppression.

CNY reflections

It’s the first day of Chinese New Year, the first one I’m spending alone. My brother is at work and my family is back in Malaysia, feasting away. I spent both the eve and today eating meat pies for dinner. I also visited the doctor today, to find out that the ear sore on my left ear is pretty sever, if it doesn’t subside in the next 2 days, I need to go to the hospital as an ’emergency’. I can’t really move the left part of my face, the swelling is spreading but I am adamant on not taking painkillers, which baffled my doctor.

I’m trying my best to not make this as depressing as it seems, so I decide to watch a CNY movie on Netflix, called ‘Us and Them’. In true Asian movie fashion, it’s a sad ending, the couple has the best teenage love story, only to end up not together 10 years later, the girl still financially struggling and single at present and the boy, now a thriving millionaire.

Holy Shit.

I was trying to make myself feel better okay. I’m trying to make the New Year less depressing. Now my body decides to build up a fever to combat this infection, turns out when I really need Panadol, my house doesn’t have any.

But it’s okay.

The movie, as depressing as it is, paralleling my present situation, shows that I’m not the only one. To know that there are people out there having it worse than me on a New Year, probably financially struggling, and I have my meat pie in sunny Melbourne.

Chinese new Year is the only festivity I looked forward to growing up, it means family. Even as a Christian now, CNY trumps Christmas (we don’t even give each other presents or own a Christmas tree), my house has lanterns and red packets over presents, any day.

I guess you can say, there is a first for everything. It’s the first time I’m not with my family, the first time my brother has to work on a CNY night. But it’s not the first time alone. I am not as depressed as I thought I would be, as weird as it sounds, typing it all out, sounds depressing af, especially since this festive season means so much to me growing up. But I am documenting this down, because I know there will be better times, to cherish the moments more often, to appreciate the happier moments. While this is not my happiest moment, I know it gets better.

I was eating my meat pie mid blogging and realise it was still frozen inside but continued to eat anyway because, seriously celebs at this point.

Year of the Pig,

My year of the Dog has officially passed, lesser of an excuse to be a bitch this year round. I used to love to read the zodiac scopes to see what’s in store for me in the zodiac year, have my aunts predict some ‘fortune’ and read the zodiac posters hanging around the malls as CNY decorations. There have been years that claim that my love life will thrive and I can tell you, as I enter this 25th year, it hasn’t.

So what ever piggy has in store for me this year, I have no idea. In case you’re wondering where this is going, don’t worry, I still love Jesus. Whatever blog post, no matter how distant I feel from God, I know He’s there. Yes, it’s been a current period of deliberation, soul-searching and figuring out how I am going to make out of my final moments of university alive and thriving, dealing with my brother who still acts like a 10 year old on ADHD but this time with alcohol and parties. I know He’s there, as I enter this new year, a lot of things going on and NOT going on, but I’ll make it, He’ll make it, we’ll make it together still. Like every relationship, it goes through rough patches and I’m sure we’ll come out stronger, me loving God harder.

Meanwhile, I wish you all my lovely humans a very blessed Chinese New Year. May love and happiness come to you always, even though it’s not realistic and if it doesn’t, you’ll be fine, you’ll come out of it stronger.