Study Playlist – more like study album

I go nuts over animated films, not the Japanese kind but more of the fairytale non-realistic Disney style kind. Over the holidays I got the opportunity to watch How to Train Your Dragon the second. So amazing I couldn’t get over it in just a night’s sleep. I rewatched number one the next day, all it’s trailers just to relive the dragon flying moments. Seriously why can’t I fly one too

If you, like me, a massive fan of make believe moving drawings (this time by computers), you should seriously consider the soundtracks. They literally take you back into the movie, this time it’s not Hiccup or Astrid but yourself and maan you will be flying (in your mind only).

Being a music student before, banging on the piano and screeching violin strings, I’ve come to appreciate orchestral music a little bit more than others. I think, they are the highlight and the most important part of a movie and if you ever want to make a fantasy film without orchestral music, you clearly don’t know your stuff mate.

So yes as you can guess by now, the How to Train Your Dragon soundtrack is currently my ultimate favourite album of all orchestral music right now. Good for you if you’re a fan of Mozart, Beethoven, Schubert and Bach (I can name more), but for me, movie orchestrals win at everything. This time it’s John Powell and that guy is a genius Genius GENIUSSS!! Love him and the music big time.

Probably not the best idea to have an album like that on when trying to get things into the head but it definitely will help you get stuff done. It’s inspiring (no lyrics involved). I feel like flying and sometimes I wish I was Astrid and that I own my very own Toothless.

I should keep on dreaming then. Will listen to them as they transition me into flying dreams.

This is my ultimate favourite

Bucket List

It’s been something I was meaning to do since a while back, but I never really got the time and motivation to put them into words. Uni starts next week and I have 2 days left to my extremely unproductive holiday. I just spent the last few days of my holiday watching Youtube videos, envying my friend’s South American trip, watch Hamish & Andy’s South American trip, watch even more travel videos and read a blog post about the 9 things I should do while I’m single.

I decided, I am still single, this is a blessing, it is imperative that I should do a bucket list before time runs out.
If it does, I don’t really care but my other half will just have to tag along with me and do everything before I get married/havekids or probably drag the kids along. If he doesn’t thats just too bad he’s not on the list.

Here’s the list. I’ll add a few that I’ve done too

  1. Go on a Missions Trip
  2. Skydiving
  3. Sandboarding
  4. Ride a Vespa
  5. Ride a Vespa in Rome
  6. Go to Rome
  7. Bungee Jumping
  8. Scuba Dive – Great Barrier
  9. Scuba Dive – Indian Ocean
  10. Scuba Dive – Aquarium
  11. Skiing  Not ever again though
  12. Rock Climbing – Mt Arapiles
  13. Rock Climb Grampians
  14. Ride a Segway at just anywhere.. preferably Europe
  15. Learn to ride a unicycle
  16. Go to Keone + Mariel Madrid’s Masterclass to be done hopefully
  17. Get my driver’s license This Friday! hopefully…
  18. Drive that tractor like thing but not a tractor and race in the desert
  19. Go-Karting No one ever gets the hint I want this for my birthday
  20. Hike Grand Canyon
  21. Maybe live in New York just a little while for fun
  22. Lead a Youth Group
  23. Appear in a film
  24. Go to a Broadway in New York
  25. Go to any Broadway
  26. Appear in Broadway
  27. Get my Bachelor Degree
  28. Get my Masters
  29. Go to Japan
  30. Go to Machu Pichhu and see the Lost Vllage
  31. Go to New Zealand
  32. Take a class in a Professional Ballet School The Australian Ballet yay!
  33. Bring someone to know Christ
  34. Share Christ
  35. Preach a sermon Very far away in the future
  36. Go to Mauritius
  37. Go to the Maldives  and AGAIN
  38. Go to Bali
  39. Go to Shanghai
  40. Go to the Great Wall and AGAIN
  41. Get a car
  42. Get a job that earns me 5 figures
  43. Give my parents a Holiday
  44. Sit First Class
  45. Cruise Atlantic
  46. Summer on a yacht
  47. Meet a celebrity
  48. Switzerland Switzerland Switzerland
  49. Greeeece
  50. Sponsor a child
  51. there will be more to fill
  52. Meet my soulmate
  53. Wedding in a castle
  54. Mum & Dad at Wedding
  55. Be a mother
  56. Send my kids to private school
  57. See my kids get married
  58. Be a Grandmother and tell all my amazing grandbabies about all my adventures
  59. See Jesus

Well, it’s not finished but I hope I’ll be able to achieve most of them and eventually would love to have 47 onwards. They’re not in order but I hope I do everything before 58.

Life would be amazing

Actually anything that God plans for me will be anything, because I know I can do all things with Christ in me.

Life is less depressing now.

Now I can’t wait to get uni started. I wanna get this bucket list gooooing

p/s: Also one of the motivation to do this is because I just came back from my orthopedic surgeon yesterday and that my knee graft is strong with just a small cyclopse lesion (nothing major). This is epic! It’s an all clear to get going with my life and adventures!


“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

10 year old self “I want to be a dentist!”

As long as I could remember, it was my dream, ambition and goal. Most of my life decisions, especially in my academics have been based on this goal I’ve set on my whole life. When in doubt of what to choose, I look to this goal, being a dentist. I was one of the few ones among my friends who had a very clear vision of what I wanted to be in the future and everyone admired that. Also the fact I wanted to take after my father.

To be a dentist would be something familiar to me. I know what to expect and what to do in a life of a dentist, I live in one and I grew up in one. My father is a dentist and an amazing one too. Everyone tells me what a great dentist he is and as a young girl, seeing how respected my father was in the family and the community in general, I lonnged to be like him and hopefully one day be like him.

To be a dentist, everyone tells me I had to be smart. My mother always reminded me of how hard my father worked to get to his position. He wasn’t from a previledged family and he still got to where he was. I knew the steps how to get there and I just had to put them in action.

To be a dentist, all my subjects had been chosen and outlined for me. My goal does not give me flexibility and I have to do what I gotta do, which is Science. All the sciency stuffs were always part of my timetable in school. Back in my Malaysian school, students were seperated into “streams”. Science stream for the so-called smart ones and Arts stream for the slightly less smart ones. Obviously I had to score to get into the Science stream, I needed it. It was the start of my Science journey and there was no looking back.

Everytime I have to come to a decision in “subject selection”, I will never fail to refer to the Dentistry websites for the pre-requisites. They were like my “bible” for making my subject decisions. Biology and Chemistry were always compulsory no matter what.

However, I admit that a full on Science curriculum would bore me to death. There was some flexibility and I filled my electives with random subjects like Accounting, Business and all things asians choose. They weren’t my priority subjects and I never really put the effort in them. 90% effort to anything science and 10% to the rest and it has been something I’ve been just doing for ages.

Funnily enough, my priority subjects and non-priority results always seem to add up to the same marks. The non-priority subjects were never really dangerously low or close to fail. I’ll be completely honest with you, even back in school, I’ve failed my maths and sciences before but I have never once failed a humanities subject. Yet I never saw myself as a humanities student and persistent on the sciences, because of the goal.

I applied to every single state in Australia for university and I got an offer from each of them I replied to. I was allowed to put in 12 choices to each state. I didn’t get my first choice in any of them because my results, in my opinion, pretty disappointing. Then again, I was still focussed on the goal, I accepted the offer that will most likely still lead me to it, hence Bachelor of Science in Melbourne University, Hurraaah!

I declined most of the offers from the other states. Melbourne was the most logical one anyway, I had both my home and family there. I thought, probably God doesn’t want me to leave them thats why he is offering the course closest to the goal at home. However, there was another offer that came late. Bachelor of Laws in Media from Adelaide. It was random really, I never expected that. I applied to it to fill the 5 other spaces for Adelaide applications after my obviously failed Bachelor of Dental Surgery application. To get it was unexpecting because Law isn’t the easiest to get into.
My mum was really keen for me to except it, she kept going on about it even after I deffered it. It was the only other course I decided not to decline.

Half a year passed and I was doing average in Science, I wasn’t scoring nor failing when the letter to accept Laws came flying by my nose again. I thought to myself that maybe the reason for not scoring was my laziness, I gave myself and excuse to stay in science because for some reason, I still wanted that goal.

Then came the failures. I mentioned how I’ve failed my sciences back in school but those were tests and quizzes. I’ve never failed exams or any major papers in my life before. Again the funny thing was my breadth subjects which I gave yet 10% again, passed through like ABC. Still I blamed myself for not working harder in my sciences. I was given a second chance to repeat in the summer and this time I managed to get through it.

Them came the blow from the latest semester. Something I swore I will never speak about but I think it’s about time to.

I decided to take up a breadth subject relating to the course I eventually declined last year, Copyright and Media Law stuff. It was honestly out of impulse as well as an interest. I figured if I had taken this course, I wanted to have a taste of whats it like. Just like all my other humanities subjects, I gave Law my least attention yet again.
Both Law and Physiology exams were set on the same day. Physiology being the prereq for dentistry, I spent the night before just memorising all the kidneys, nervous systems and all things physiology. I made my mum help me print my notes for my Law exams as it was and open book exam and hopefully, i could figure something out while I’m at it (which I did).

The results came out and I felt like a teenage girl who knew what she did but did not expect to get pregnant (not that I experienced that), but I can imagine it would be pretty similar.
I failed all my core sciences, everyone of them except for Law.. stupid law.. what on earth, I didn’t even do anything.
I was so angry with myself, so depressed, so upset, I ruined my own holiday. I spent 2 weeks thinking and figuring out what went wrong with myself. Couldn’t figure out at all. I was so nervous they were kicking me out of my course.

I decided I should seek the help of a counsellor. The response I got was shocking

“you might be having depression.”

Telling a girl who is upset with her results and tell her she’s having depression is equivalent to giving her scissors.

My mum wouldn’t except I have depression. I was thrown into further confusion not just in my academics but mental health too. WHATS GOING ON GOD?

I must’ve spontaneously mumbled something to do with pastor and my mum immediately set me up to see a pastor from church. I was thinking, “Did I just dig myself a deeper grave?”

But I was wrong. Seeing the pastor and his wife yesterday, a wave of clarity swept through my mind. Unlike the confusion the counsellor brought me. I was looking at my results as a failure. I felt like a failure, in everything, in life, I couldn’t even grab a bible. The depression comment made me fell more worthless.

The failure might not have been a failure. It could be a sign from God, a message he was trying to send for eons but I was so stubborn and wanted the goal. He had to make a louder statement to make me realize that maybe this path I’ve been walking wasn’t so right after all.

Like how he broke my legs to make me not walk properly again, because he wants to carry me this time. He wants me closer, he wants to carry me out of the valley and shadow of death. I needed Him so much this whole time but I was doing the opposite. Maybe I was doing this longer that I thought. I was doing this since my injury. What a long time to realize this mistake.

But it is never too late. I’m still on the path He wants me to be one. But this time, He is carrying me and I am close to Him.

He will never let go of me and I know and have faith that this destination is absolutely great.


photo taken while doing a deep thinking walk in the park in the chill – i was literally chillin like a baawss