My current level of obsession with this song is currently insane. I’ve been raping the replay button and it’s ringing in my ears the whole time even when my earphones are off. It brings the Disney feel to a whole other level, even though it isn’t a complete Disney product and just based of it’s idea. Props to having a Disney star singing it though. Zendaya, your voice is phenomenal.

Listening to this song just brings me back to my 12 year old self, all the childhood dreams and the embodiment of fairytale fantasies. I had the classic Disney childhood upbringing, watching the classics was how I spent my free time. Disney always had this phenomenal way of using their music to bring their audience into a fairytale fantasy (hence Fantasia), I was one of them who believed in it, that Neverland existed. But flipping the numbers around and now at 21, the level of imagination has shrunk drastically with the constant bombarding of the reality of life.

Neverland is fake. You can’t be Wendy. Peter Pan isn’t real. The flying ship never existed anyway.

However the lyrics of this song just peaks it to the ultimate level. Right now everything I’m feeling, summarised in this song. It hasn’t been the easiest few months for me and I really crave for an escape from all this hiatus. Suddenly with this song, it made me realize that Neverland probably isn’t as far away as it seems, probably closer to home than I expected and in fact… pretty real. Because He is real.

Somewhere I can run to, just across the Milky Way
Not the Milky Way. But You’ve been my escape. As hard as my life has been, no matter how shameful and selfish I was, even when I was filled with anger, You’ve always opened your arms to me and let me run to you.

Through all my make belief, there is some reality
I don’t know how to explain this but this phrase hits home. I tend to have a lot of dreams and fantasies, many say I have unrealistic beliefs and imaginations and many have been proven right. But you tell me it’s okay to dream, despite all these times I have been let down by my own strength. You have turned my many prayers into reality and gave me hope to know that if I have enough faith and with You in my life, it can become real.

It’s the love someone gives you, in an unconditional way
John 3:16 basically sums up that unconditional love that you have given to not just me, but to everyone known in existence of Your creation.

Even though this isn’t a gospel related song but it gives me so much feels on such a spiritual level that is so unexplainable. Going to a place I call Neverland. Heaven is my Neverland, where life is eternal and evergreen. It is real. It exists. Jesus will bring me home.

p/s: Can’t wait for the PAN movie. I’m loving all these live adaptions of all the classics I grew up with. Also… Garrett Hedlund.
If no one is taking/accompanying me to watch it with me, I’ll be giving myself another solo trip to the cinema (which I’ve done a few times… no shame).

Gone to soon

It is a very hard pill to swallow to know that we won’t be seeing you again.

It is so tough to admit that you are really gone.

You are only 33.

You promised my brother you’d be there for his graduation and his wedding.

You asked me how I was going in uni, even though I was struggling.. I said “Okay” and you said to “Keep going. That’s good”.

I miss your jokes. I miss the Monopoly sessions and the cheats you used to teach us how to play.

Your birthday was only a day after mine.

We had the same zodiac.

My brother and I used to wake you up by jumping on your bed as kids…

You showed us your leechbites that you got during the camp and how it changed your life.

When the Cory Monteith news hit, I thought of you. When they took Andrew Chan and Myuran Sukumaran’s life, I thought of you. I didn’t think the same thing would’ve taken you.

You were clean. We thought you were clean. We were supposed to be together again end of this year.

I couldn’t sleep last night. I could only hear your voice in all the family gatherings we had. You were always the highlight of the party.

You left too soon. You shouldn’t have. Life is so unfair.

This was not the ending that it should’ve been. But then again God has plans and I pray you are in a better place with less suffering. I pray that God is merciful and put an end to all that pain.

They say time will heal. I pray that it’ll be fast.

I promise Jianshen will be alright. Maowen and I will look out for him always. Know that he has a family and always loved and you will be proud of him. He will have the future you always wanted for him. We promise.

We will look after Wendy too. I am sorry for the hurt the family has caused between you two and I promise that she will feel belonged. She has and always will be part of the family.

You will be terribly missed.