Bionic babies

Lets’ talk about egg freezing, mainly because I’ve completed 2/3 assignments due this week and I’m feeling good.

Egg freezing.


So basically taking those single eggs that will ripen one at a time for every month in the next 40+ years of our lives ever since the age of puberty. If unfertilized, gushing of the blood from the lady parts will happen, also known as the period or the ladies best friend.

Females have all our eggs God-given to us, all few hundred thousands of them, since the day of our birth. Yes, God already planned the birth of our children on the day of our births… how crazy is that? So why freeze them eggs when we have plenty and going to get one every month for the next 40 years (till menopause)? Well, studies have shown that apparently, we have an ideal period of time where the eggs that

Well, studies have shown that apparently, we have an ideal period of time where the eggs that pop out of the ovum are “ideal”, yea I know… it’s like smarter babies or something, eggs fertilized after that ideal period will be deemed “terrible”.

Okay, not that bad, but those babies will have higher risks of abnormal birth or diseases in the future.

Hence, the desperation of women to get pregnant before the age of 36, the desperation to get married before 30, if they want a lot of kids, and the desperation to find their soulmate before another ideal age which I can’t keep up with.

I had a catch up with my high school friends last week and one of them was telling me how her sister’s firm was sponsoring the freezing of eggs of their female employees, what? wow. Talk about company benefits right there, that’s incredibly generous of them… I mean bionic babies are not cheap.

Bionic babies are expensive babies, they are risky and can cost more than a Ferarri, yes a big fat nice luxury car, imagine that speed and joy you can have (if you like those things). I guess to some die-hard wannabe parents, babies will provide the same speed (chasing around) and joy (laughter), hence worth the same cost of money. I’ve personally known parents who’ve undergone the bionic method (IVF) method and failed.

I’ve personally known parents who’ve undergone the bionic method (IVF) method and failed. They were loaded, but the loss of a potential child, 3 times, was too much for the mother, she quit her job and fell into depression.

Bionic test-tube or natural, the fertilization of a sperm and egg is life.
This could honestly lead on to another pro-life debate which I’m keen… next post! 

I’m not gonna lie but I’ve honestly considered freezing my eggs before, I mean I’m shedding all these God-given eggs every month, why can’t I keep them? They’re gonna be wasted!! They are life too! Aren’t they? They are potential babies! Potential children! Potential life! Why can’t I freeze them?

I remembered openly voicing my opinions on this topic during family gatherings, only to be met with disapproving faces. I come from a multi-faith background, so Christian, Buddhist, Muslim and Atheist uncles and aunties are present, all disapproved.

No Way!

“Not a natural way of having babies, not good, bad luck to the babies.”

My reason for this is due to the environment we are now in, the strong emphasis of having a career in a woman instead of motherhood, this sense of female empowerment and all that feminism. Women in current society want to be a force to reckon with, we want equality, we want the same respect we deserve in the workplace, be that strong lady that God have created us to be.

If you’re telling me biblically women are meant to be in the household…
go read your bible again. There are strong God-fearing women in the bible and they are a force to be reckon with… so shush.

But motherhood, will it get in the way? Society certainly thinks it will, hence the company perks of freezing the eggs of employees. 35 years of age is prime time in the commercial world, you either make it or break it, and motherhood can be a dealbreaker (I mean 9 months of carrying, plus those hormonal changes).

I know there’s been many pro-life groups and Christian lobbyist strongly against this idea, against the Godly way of procreation.

Honestly, I am on the fence with this. Bionic babies have brought joy to many families, if it was cruelty and unethical, there wouldn’t be such a growing market for such a technology and treatment.

What is your opinion?

p/s: my 3 years in a science degree has not been wasted, I still have a deep passion for science… deep deep down. Science and Law. Much nerd, Level Asian.


It’s such a mess – War summary

Just in case you’re a clueless noob like me, who’s been so occupied with your own life but hearing these news snippets of bombs and getting angry with all the hurt and killing… but actually don’t really know what is happening and what is causing it…

I found the perfect video to explain that confusion

Honestly, America… mind your own business.

I guess this applies to us in life. The more people, the more drama and then there’s war. Sometimes it’s okay to take a back seat, it’s okay not to win, it’s okay to not have a say.

I know there’s a lot of advice in this world where we must “take a stand on what we believe in”… “fight for our rights”

Is it worth it?

I honestly feel… my own personal opinion, the peace among people holds far better importance than power and right.

Dreams and Wishes

I’ve just stumbled onto her cover of this Disney Classic song. It just brought me back to my childhood of “totally doing nothing” and just sitting in the loungeroom watching all my Disney tape collection five times a week, with lots of dreaming involved of course. In all honesty, I have anticipating to watch this film since it announced production but it has been months since it’s release and I still haven’t watched it! -cries- Blaming it on my crazy hectic schedule. Just saying, Lily James totally slayed this song and it’s my favourite version of it. Not the sleepy version of the original in the same time retaining it’s classical elements without adding the pop-styled nonsense. (I don’t hate pop music, I just don’t like it when they get added to a classic, they don’t mix right)

Of course, my childhood dreams and current realities didn’t go hand in hand. I’m a struggling university kid now and doing crap degree. No Disney doesn’t portray reality, but it doesn’t mean disappointment. Strangely enough, watching that video just brought me back the same innocent child-like happiness I had and the longing to dream. Yes, given the happiness is only lasting for less than 5 minutes before I have to snap back to reality, I still love it and I freaking cherish it.

This Disney part of me is definitely the girly part of me, sans the ballet upbringing. But wasn’t that lopsided a girly girl, my absolute favourite Disney films includes the animal ones, Simba was my first ever TV crush and it worries some of my friends because he wasn’t even human LOL. I am hardcore when it comes to Disney and no one can mess with my knowledge, including knowing Ilago’s breed (the hornbill sidekick of Ja’afar in Aladdin) and singing the Hawaiian bits of Aloha E Komo Mai (Lilo & Stitch).

It baffles me how some people who claimed to be Disney fans can work at Disney but yet… never watched the films… What?

I’m not judging (or more like trying not to) but I’m finding it really hard to wrap my head around that fact.

One of my childhood dreams as a 10 year old was to one day star in a Disney live-adaptation of one of the classics I grew up with. Mulan cast people… here’s your chance. Jokes. That’s definitely just a wish a heart can make while I’m fast asleep. Nonetheless, I am excited for that adaptation, I really hope they do the casting and the character justice, she better be Chinese, most of all she’d better be strong willed.

Now I’ll be signing of for the next 2 weeks of hardcore exam study (not that I post regularly anyway). Just feeling obligated to let you guys know that I’ll be away, before I return and report more incredible nonsensical happenings of my life and feelings. Hopefully by then, I would have gotten the time to catch up on my Cinderella and Disney marathons.

Tunes 2.0 + some future posts ideas + church

I’m currently in the middle of exam preparations right now and I am practicing extremely strong self-control right now to do long-winded deep though posts… which I’m very prone to.

My cousins are currently downstairs banging the keys in a very unmelodic tune right now, it’s setting a very good revision study atmosphere… hence why I am here. I’ll make it as short as possible though, I haven’t been the most productive I’m suppose to be, so yea.. it’s going to be short.


This song. Discovered it during procrastination this week. I really need to have some new breathe of tunes in my Gospel playlist, so I went to, the most uncommon place to go because I know everyone goes to like Spotify I still do.

As I play this song, all I can picture in my head as I listen to it is a dance. Yes, a dance. It’s a kind of a strong, passionate, contemporary kind of dance. It involves some ropes and strings, the dancer will eventually break free. It is powerful. I don’t know who the dancer will be. But I can imagine, it’s so strong I feel like executing it myself but I don’t know if my knees can take the jumps and leaps. I really wish I can. But one thing for certain, I want to get this dance done. I don’t know who will be getting it done, me or someone else, I’ll make it happen.

Future Posts

I’ve went through some tough bits the last couple of weeks. It was pretty hard for my family. I’ve given some thought about it, I don’t believe my family and I are the only ones suffering this. It’s require a full-blown post which I’ll do after my exams.. I can’t wait. This issue that I’ve been going through has definitely sparked a certain discontentment within myself and a passion to do something about it. I really do wanna do something about it but I don’t know how or what yet,

Hint: It’s to do with ADHD. Yes, the condition… ADHD.


This has nothing to do with a full blown post. It’s Sunday tomorrow and my exams are on Tuesday. I have heaps more of catch up to do for exams and I’ve been given an off-duty day from Sunday School tomorrow, it’s the perfect day to skip church for some productive revision. As I said, my cousin’s are over at my house right now. We had dinner together just now for some catch up at Pancake Parlour and I was bringing up about skipping church to study as I was out for the night.

“You can’t skip church! Prayer is so important, especially at this current period. You have no idea how much it will help. Don’t underestimate the importance and power of prayer and church at this moment of time. Go to church Juanlin.”

This advice was given by my Muslim aunt and uncle. It hit me hard in the heart, this wasn’t the first time I was given advice to go to church by a non-Christian. As much as I have been one of the most religious ones among some of my friends, many of them atheists and agnostic and half my family are non-christians, I’ve been getting encouragement from people who are the least familiar with my faith than I am and yet I get the most heart-hitting advices from them.

I believe God often tries to communicate with us through the weirdest and unlikeliness of people, this includes non-believers. If we are strong in the word and faith, we can hear Him anywhere.

“Don’t ever forget to seek advice from the Big Boss up there” – my Muslim uncle

I couldn’t agree more.

God is good and I am going to church tomorrow.

Tunes Tunes Tunes 1.0

I wouldn’t say I’m musical but I love music. It’s hard to hate music when you love dance.

Music + Dance = Marriage Package

I’m going to start doing this weekly music review of all these crazy awesome tunes I hear during my week. So yes, you’ll get to discover a bit of me in this process. People say music tells a lot about a person. Okay maybe it’s not just a bit of me then.


Meghan Trainor just dropped this beat and it’s BANGING!

love it. Everything. love it.

Ella Henderson is my favourite powerhouse right now. I’ve got her whole album and it is freaking powerboom all the way. This is her rendition of You Got The Love.

ack so good.

Last but not least. Ed Sheeran. Guys, this is my future wedding song. Yes this is part of my future I am going to predict. The face of the man waiting for me at the end of the aisle is still blank, but yes.. this song.
it’s my overplayed song on my ipod this week.

omg. the dance. won my heart.

also, I should let you know, I got tickets to his concert.

ahhhhaaaaa wheeeee dooooopie!

future husband, take note, this is gonna be our dance. don’t drop me.

So yes! Here we go! I have a very wide range of music genres that I listen to, that’s my style. Well hopefully that tells you more about me hohoho

Funny Convos, Funny friends, Funny internet finds: 2.0

I’d like to think I’m funny. But reality is that I’m not. I’m funny because my friends are funny and I laugh at them and they laugh at me laughing. I laugh at everything. I’m currently at the library on a common table surrounded by 6 strangers, I’ve just silently laughed at my iMessage convo with a friends and watched a funny vid, I get strange stares, not because I’m funny but because I’m weird and they’re not my friends.

Because I laugh so much. I have this fear I’ll be a weird bride. Watching this video made me realize that is critical that I should start that ab control practice for my wedding day, because judging at my current laugh-state (my friends can testify), I could end up like this bride.

If not, never married. My mama says my laughter will never get me a husband.

click the photo for video

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Also my funny friend, who gave me the permission to post this

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Also my internet findings:

Disclaimer: I stalk these myself, not 9gag/buzzfeed material. If it is, it’s pure coincidence

A comment from this video

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Also… this is not funny. But more of how uncultured the people of Melbourne are still these days. The post has been deleted, but I thankfully did a screenshot before it did. Racism still exists, even when this is supposedly the “World’s best city to live in”. Everyone comes flocking here for fairytales, but no, it’s not.

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I’m not saying I hate Melbourne. I love it here. I was born here, this is my birth country and I’ve grown to love it again after spending my childhood abroad for a very long time. Immigration is never a fairytale, it takes effort to fit in. From personal experience: It’s hard, but it’s worth it.

Sometimes, fitting in is a chance at survival. Of course, don’t lose a part of yourself.

Music. Dance. Shbaangs.

I’ve encountered way too much awesome stuff on the internet this week. This post is going to be a post of randoms. You will finally discover how random my brain can be and my absolute love for almost anything.

Dance will always be my number one though. Yes. Expressing emotions with movement is a skill and I will forever push forward the fact that Ballet is a sport and Dance is a mega-skill. Anyway, absolutely in love with Kyle Hanagami’s Sam Smith’s choreo this week. He was always my top fave choreographer ever along with the Madrids. It’s not the latest vid but I’m obsessed at how simple and emotional it is. It’s sharp, precise, doesn’t need much dance prowess or high skills to execute it, but lots of practice of course.

Also, can’t get enough of Sam Smith’s song “Like I Can”. The beat. The Beat. THE BEAT. It’s AWESOME.

That goes along with Nick Jonas’ new Release “Jealous”. Like what seriously where did the afro go? After a million girlfriends later and getting rid of the fro, baby Jonas is finally giving me some music to my ears.

Give me a beat. I am absolutely SOLD. Reasons why I am MJ’s biggest fan because his beat is sick as seeeeeck.

Also, rediscovered MercyMe’s classic last night and it’s been on repeat on my iTunes since last night. Quite a drastic change from above but I love it anyways. I can totally imagine myself doing a contemporary to this.

Anyway that’s all for my interests this week. All that beat and soul.

Love love love.

p/s: Getting baptised today!

I was so excited and pumped last night! But this morning I suddenly had this wave of nervousness when I realised my testimony (video) is going to played in front of 3/4 of people I don’t know very well, as well as getting completely soaked in front of them eeeeps.

I shouldn’t be thinking to much. It’s the chatterbox making me victim again.

This is gonna be a moment treasured with God alone and I am not letting anything come in my way. I’m sure He isn’t either.

Fat Hearts to everyone ❤

La Bayadere Shenanigans

Just when I thought my experience at The Australian Ballet’s adult ballet class were as star-strucking as it gets, today I shared a changing room with one of the professional dancers of the La Bayadere production that’s opening next week. I even got a glimpse of the rehearsal and be in the presence of all the dancing greatness the whole production possessed.

Say whaaaat… Yes I am very very star struck.

I didn’t get her name but she was extremely friendly. At first I thought she was one of the students attending the Pilates lesson that runs concurrently with my class. I didn’t glance her way at all because I was in a rush to change. I obviously didn’t have that long-legged and lean ballerina physique, she must be wondering what I was doing in the changing room when she asked, “So, what actually goes on here on Saturdays?”

I answered her question and this time taking a good look at her. She was definitely not in my class, she didn’t have a pilates mat, then I saw the pointe shoes. I asked her if she was one of the dancers of the company, she told me dances for an overseas company and is currently back in Australia to recupperate from a pointe injury as well as help out with La Bayadere (it’s a massive production piece). I wanted to jump and scream Eeeeeecks but all I could muster was Ooooh… wooow. Seriously didn’t know how to react to such greatness omgoodness.

She was obviously there for the rehearsals, which I manage to catch a glimpse after my class. For privacy purposes I couldn’t really snap a photo of them though I was incredibly tempted to. But I got the chance to see all the prop boxes and tutus (not in picture).




 Just suddenly seeing all that happening and all the excitement buzzing in the studio and all the sweat and effort shown by the dancers made me swellll. I ran straight down to box office right after that and bought myself a ticket, I needed to see this. I’ve already seen so much that 99% of the audience probably can’t see and experience, I have to take the whole package and experiencing everything. The atmosphere when passing the rehearsal studio made me feel as though I was transported into Dance Academy itself, right through the tv screen and beloved cast I adore (just that this is Melbourne that is Sydney). I was already living it by going to the classes but seeing actual production prep… incredible.

I am beyond excited! Despite having a mid-sem test the monday right after (whatever happened to studying harder). Mum wasn’t the happiest with my decision and I won’t want to know my father’s. I’ve busted a precious $69 of my own savings which is pretty much gold for financially struggling uni student like me.

Don’t worry.. I’ll work my butts off this week (I’d better or I’ll die)


Stay happy. Stay focussed. Stay productive.


So it begins


I’ve restarted my non-beginner ballet classes again at The Australian Ballet! I was so excited that saturday morning, I normally took the Thursday night classes when the school is pretty quiet and the students will be just us adult casual ballerinas.

But this time, I actually got a glimpse into the studio where the Artistic Director of the company, David Mcallistor was giving a class! Can you believe that? I couldn’t. I just stood outside transfixed at everything, taking in all that I could in the presence of ultimate dance greatness. The girls gave out a graceful masculine aura, the boys the same. I’ve only seen boy ballerinas on screen, never live and this time I actually got to see them in practice.

I had my existing teacher from my previous classes, Jane Casson.

Photocred: Behind Ballet


She was a soloist in the company and she just retired because of the birth of her child. Having a company dancer as your teacher is a big deal (well for me it is), I feel so blessed, hyped and amazed at this opportunity. Making the situation better was that she remembers my name, my name, my name. I have this incredibly hard asian name and no one ever gets it right, everyone forgets me after because it just takes so much effort to remember but Jane Casson remembers me.


The first lesson was amazing. I felt my whole body work, the soreness and aches came in a good way. I know I have been getting a lot of comments from my family and friends on getting back to ballet after my ACL, but nothing gives me so much joy. I admit my knee still hurts now and then but it is my cross to carry and I accept it. I am glad and grateful I managed to go through a surgery to make it better, the healing will come its way in God’s time. The fact I still am able to jump around and do my splits, I am already grateful that the fall God gave me was just a minor one.

He only took a minor part of my gift away, He still left a spark in there for me. It’s up to me how I use it and how much I am going to trust Him on this journey to make me better, because I know He will. 

We’re on this mission together.


Study Playlist – more like study album

I go nuts over animated films, not the Japanese kind but more of the fairytale non-realistic Disney style kind. Over the holidays I got the opportunity to watch How to Train Your Dragon the second. So amazing I couldn’t get over it in just a night’s sleep. I rewatched number one the next day, all it’s trailers just to relive the dragon flying moments. Seriously why can’t I fly one too

If you, like me, a massive fan of make believe moving drawings (this time by computers), you should seriously consider the soundtracks. They literally take you back into the movie, this time it’s not Hiccup or Astrid but yourself and maan you will be flying (in your mind only).

Being a music student before, banging on the piano and screeching violin strings, I’ve come to appreciate orchestral music a little bit more than others. I think, they are the highlight and the most important part of a movie and if you ever want to make a fantasy film without orchestral music, you clearly don’t know your stuff mate.

So yes as you can guess by now, the How to Train Your Dragon soundtrack is currently my ultimate favourite album of all orchestral music right now. Good for you if you’re a fan of Mozart, Beethoven, Schubert and Bach (I can name more), but for me, movie orchestrals win at everything. This time it’s John Powell and that guy is a genius Genius GENIUSSS!! Love him and the music big time.

Probably not the best idea to have an album like that on when trying to get things into the head but it definitely will help you get stuff done. It’s inspiring (no lyrics involved). I feel like flying and sometimes I wish I was Astrid and that I own my very own Toothless.

I should keep on dreaming then. Will listen to them as they transition me into flying dreams.

This is my ultimate favourite