“You know, I think you’re pretty strong for what you went through”
“You’ve been really strong, keep staying strong okay?”
I was thriving with that praise. Over the years, I had people around me telling me about this “strength” I had, how “strong” I was. The more I was “praised”, the more I built this great wall of china around myself, I see it as my strength and I will not break down.
I took it in. All these comments that said I was strong, it was my fuel to be even harder. It gave me the impression that I should never ever break down in front of everyone, because I was “strong”. Which I did, I didn’t know how I lasted so long.
Personal strength can only take you so far. Every human being runs out of energy. I never realised that I could run out of that strength until the only strength I had left was to say… I am weak.
I think it takes the biggest strength to admit that one is weak.
I realised after a while, I was spiralling down into that great fort I was building for myself… Basically, I dug my own grave. Imagine Alice falling down that burrow.
Of course, it was scary. People say, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but the thing was, when you fall, you are falling away from that light, pretty much sucks all the positivity out of the whole phrase.
Then this is when faith starts. Alice fell down that hole, she was given 2 choices. EAT ME or DRINK ME. She could’ve eaten cake to grow bigger (I mean obvious most edible thing right there) or drinking something (which looked like poison) and shrink her.
She drank it. She shrunk. She took the key. She entered the door. Alice enters Wonderland.
Too be smaller is like being weaker, but sometimes being smaller will lead us to greater things. Entering the Wonderland gave Alice so much adventures, but it didn’t mean she never faced any challenges.
Being weak isn’t a symbol of vulnerability. It is also a symbol of strength. In such a culture where being “strong” is the element of survival, it makes people fear the alternative, fear to admit that sometimes we can’t do it alone. Weak doesn’t mean that you will get bashed up (I’m talking about emotional strength here… not your muscles). If you think you are strong, there will always be something stronger than you.
We don’t have to rely on our own selves for strength. Some times putting your faith and strength in greater things will bring you to greater places.
I am weak but He is strong. Yes Jesus loves me, and the Bible tells me so.
(That’s the first ever Christian song I had ever learnt in my life)
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.