Asians in Media

This video.

A friend of mine in the UK who’s incredibly passionate about film shared it on Facebook a couple of days ago and I’m so glad she did. Everything in this video speaks volumes of the culture we live in cough cough Hollywood.

It’s no doubt that Hollywood shapes the culture we live in, it’s a global thing, everything that stems from there can be viewed in almost everypart of the world (maybe China can be an exception). The message it sends with this whole culture replacement thing is just plain degrading to one of the largest demographic and market to its industry in the world – Asians.

Since a young age growing watching all the mainstream pop culture shows, I always knew there was a lack of Asian representation on TV. Brenda Song was like my idol growing up and pretty much the only Asian in the whole of Disney at the time. In fact right now, I don’t know if there even is one? When Wendy Wu came out  I freaking flipped out.

Because we were so scarce on TV, I always had a thought at the back of my mind on wanting to join the media world, represent my culture with pride (just that my personality doesn’t match… I’m too shy). I did give it a go in school by joining drama but failed because I’m such a major introvert and having an audience scares me.

Some of the best acting in my highschool were done by Asians, but they didn’t carve the Hollywood career for themselves, they became doctors and lawyers.

There’s still a stigmatism and tradition in many Asian families that is hard to break. However, there are some out there whom are willing to let their children break out of that Asian mould of choosing just a steady stable career. That’s been steadily growing (my bestfriend’s cousin is doing well).

We’re out there now, there’s more of us. Pick us and give us roles. Give us a space to share.

Shout out to my bestfriend’s cousin who is a lead on the Nickolodean Show Make It Pop. You rock it Erika (girl in long hair) and do us proud!

Here’s a shamelss promo of that show. (All 3 Asian leads!) Disney… It’s time to step up your game.

I Pray

“I seriously don’t know how you do it, I would be flipping tables right now…”

I was on the phone with my friend, a non-believer. Mid-conversation, my brother enters the room and speaks in a tone which caused a disgruntled argument between us. It all happened so quick that I couldn’t excuse myself from the call and my brother had no idea a call was going on in the background. She heard everything. She was shocked.

The dynamics between every sibling is different. It definitely was between mine and hers. I wouldn’t say the that it is no longer a struggle for me, between my brother and I, it still is and I cope the best way I can (sometimes failing), I try my best to make it not the norm.

I wanted to sugar coat it, say something else and how I cope with life is the same as everyone else. But it isn’t.

My whole life, I hide my faith the best way I can from non-believers with the fear of judgement. It doesn’t help with the recent criticisms of Christians being Bible-Bashers and banning LGBT rights etc… We were being posed as the bad guys in the media. It was anytime but now to be the time to shout about it.

I had always been cautious about my words, how I phrased them when it was relating to my faith, how I cope with life. I tried to make it relatable to everyone else so that there’ll be a bond between us and we could still be friends. I didn’t want to be that Christian friend who is so loud about it and only wants to rope her friends into church.

I was hilariously enough… going on the extreme side. I did not want to admit that I had faith.

Honestly… I pray.

Thats what I told my friend on the phone to the response she gave me.

It was pure honesty on how I get through it, get through life, get through those struggles that continuously appears. To a non-believer, they may think I am talking to some invisible friend and it’s just my way to rant due to my absence of my rant buddies (who left for overseas).

I’m not roping you into my faith, but that’s just how I cope in life. If everyone can express their views freely and what they believe in life, so can I.

God is real to me, He truly is. I rant to Him everyday. I let it out. I know you might find it strange, whether He will answer me immediately like the way the friends on earth do, He does but sometimes He doesn’t. It’s okay if He doesn’t because I have faith, I have faith that He is control and that gives me peace, the peace I need during this storm and the comfort I need through the struggle and the armour in the fight.

“That’s good that you have something constant to lean on Juan… that’s really good. As long as it keeps you strong.”

It does Jac.

The best thing about it is that it’s open to everyone.

I can do all this through Christ who gives me strength – Philippians 4:13


Godly encounters in sibling fights

There are times in my life, especially after a big fight with my brother, when I look at my disheveled self and say “I’m a terrible sister”.

Yesterday was one of those times.

Fighting with my brother takes an emotional toll on me, I get mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. Some people say it’s better to fight between siblings than no interaction at all, what is a relationship when there are no disagreements?

It won’t be the last time I’ll be fighting with my brother (though I wish it will be all the time), we will makeup but something always pops up and the disagreements begin again. No one is happy, tears and yelling pursue, banging of doors and eventually retreating into our rooms. After a period of time, the better sibling will retract from hiding and apologize, all is good again.

It’s an exhausting cycle. It’s hard to avoid. Sometimes it even makes me question “Why God? You give me a sibling… but why is he like that?” There’s always a push and pull blame between my brother and I and it’s sickening to throw it around and see who’s right. I don’t think a single sibling in this world has never asked this question.

As an older sibling, I take it upon myself that he is my responsibility when my parents are away. I resume the role of my mother and be that ‘over-bearing parent’ by stalking his activities and his school work, a role I tend to normally despise. Sometimes I go so deep into it to realize and by the time I do, it’s too late to retract my actions. I will be consumed with regret and question the type of parent I will become in the future.

My brother is the baby of the family, we can’t deny that the whole family just loves him unconditionally and we just show it in the wrong ways, I don’t know if he sees that. During our fights, profanities tend to get thrown around and I get so emotionally wrecked up I will cry, occasionally even an anxiety/panic attack for no reason. Boys be boys, my brother doesn’t understand the emotional wreck a girl can go through (especially on her period), things don’t get better and according to my mother, I make things worse.

In the midst of my break down yesterday, I could feel the hole in my heart just eating in and my head was expanding in pulsing motions. Everything felt like it was sinking, it felt like I was that helpless passenger in the Titanic who could no longer be saved. Just as everything was about to grow darker, I cried out in my last defense for survival, “If only you were here right now Jesus, if only You were… I really want a hug right now I can’t stand it.”

I was in the kitchen at the time, the living room just across me where we have an L-shaped sofa. Just then, after that cry, I felt a beckoning to the far corner of “L” sofa. It felt like an invisible person, a force, was pulling me there and patting the side of it and asking me to take a seat. I slowly walk to words the seat and as I sat down, I felt a rushing wave… someone just pulled me out of the water and sinking ship I was in.

I felt God’s love for me. I was not alone.

That rushing wave of Jesus’ love and I knew it was His. That knowing fact that He was there and I am not going through this alone.

First time ever did I get such a physical and emotional experience such as this, words cannot describe the immediate relief and comfort that I felt with that knowing He is there with me in this walk and I wasn’t alone.

I’m not perfect. God knows it. I need Him and He knows it.

Trial and trial again and no matter how undeserving I am, He pulls me out of the water.

I can swim through this storm, I can swim through this giant wave with Christ strength in me.

I may not be the perfect sister, but I can strive to be the best I can with Jesus with me in this walk of faith.

Maowen, I’ll be there for you. I know there are times where I fail to be the sister you wish I could be but I promise no matter what, I’ll still be your sister and with Jesus we can pull through this together. I’m human and I can fail, but God won’t. He will pull you through times when any of us fail you, know that He is there and He loves you and you’re His child. You are my only brother and I’ll do the best I can to be that sister despite all the shortcomings and trials we have between us. We can pull through.

Bionic babies

Lets’ talk about egg freezing, mainly because I’ve completed 2/3 assignments due this week and I’m feeling good.

Egg freezing.


So basically taking those single eggs that will ripen one at a time for every month in the next 40+ years of our lives ever since the age of puberty. If unfertilized, gushing of the blood from the lady parts will happen, also known as the period or the ladies best friend.

Females have all our eggs God-given to us, all few hundred thousands of them, since the day of our birth. Yes, God already planned the birth of our children on the day of our births… how crazy is that? So why freeze them eggs when we have plenty and going to get one every month for the next 40 years (till menopause)? Well, studies have shown that apparently, we have an ideal period of time where the eggs that

Well, studies have shown that apparently, we have an ideal period of time where the eggs that pop out of the ovum are “ideal”, yea I know… it’s like smarter babies or something, eggs fertilized after that ideal period will be deemed “terrible”.

Okay, not that bad, but those babies will have higher risks of abnormal birth or diseases in the future.

Hence, the desperation of women to get pregnant before the age of 36, the desperation to get married before 30, if they want a lot of kids, and the desperation to find their soulmate before another ideal age which I can’t keep up with.

I had a catch up with my high school friends last week and one of them was telling me how her sister’s firm was sponsoring the freezing of eggs of their female employees, what? wow. Talk about company benefits right there, that’s incredibly generous of them… I mean bionic babies are not cheap.

Bionic babies are expensive babies, they are risky and can cost more than a Ferarri, yes a big fat nice luxury car, imagine that speed and joy you can have (if you like those things). I guess to some die-hard wannabe parents, babies will provide the same speed (chasing around) and joy (laughter), hence worth the same cost of money. I’ve personally known parents who’ve undergone the bionic method (IVF) method and failed.

I’ve personally known parents who’ve undergone the bionic method (IVF) method and failed. They were loaded, but the loss of a potential child, 3 times, was too much for the mother, she quit her job and fell into depression.

Bionic test-tube or natural, the fertilization of a sperm and egg is life.
This could honestly lead on to another pro-life debate which I’m keen… next post! 

I’m not gonna lie but I’ve honestly considered freezing my eggs before, I mean I’m shedding all these God-given eggs every month, why can’t I keep them? They’re gonna be wasted!! They are life too! Aren’t they? They are potential babies! Potential children! Potential life! Why can’t I freeze them?

I remembered openly voicing my opinions on this topic during family gatherings, only to be met with disapproving faces. I come from a multi-faith background, so Christian, Buddhist, Muslim and Atheist uncles and aunties are present, all disapproved.

No Way!

“Not a natural way of having babies, not good, bad luck to the babies.”

My reason for this is due to the environment we are now in, the strong emphasis of having a career in a woman instead of motherhood, this sense of female empowerment and all that feminism. Women in current society want to be a force to reckon with, we want equality, we want the same respect we deserve in the workplace, be that strong lady that God have created us to be.

If you’re telling me biblically women are meant to be in the household…
go read your bible again. There are strong God-fearing women in the bible and they are a force to be reckon with… so shush.

But motherhood, will it get in the way? Society certainly thinks it will, hence the company perks of freezing the eggs of employees. 35 years of age is prime time in the commercial world, you either make it or break it, and motherhood can be a dealbreaker (I mean 9 months of carrying, plus those hormonal changes).

I know there’s been many pro-life groups and Christian lobbyist strongly against this idea, against the Godly way of procreation.

Honestly, I am on the fence with this. Bionic babies have brought joy to many families, if it was cruelty and unethical, there wouldn’t be such a growing market for such a technology and treatment.

What is your opinion?

p/s: my 3 years in a science degree has not been wasted, I still have a deep passion for science… deep deep down. Science and Law. Much nerd, Level Asian.


New tunes, new season of happy

It’s been a while since I’ve checked in this site (actually I did, I have a couple of serious drafts still in process), so this is a less serious… lighter note.. check in to say hi post.

There’s heaps that went on over the past month since my last post. Good and the bad, as always, God wants to keep a balance in our learning curves. The good comes as a reward for overcoming those bad challenges (in my perspective).

Bad points first. I fell incredibly sick on easter break, got myself a horrible eye infection which made my left eye swell and throb double its size. Still has a scar and occasional awkward creasing here and there but it’s healing so praise God! However that whole episode made me so preoccupied of wanting to heal everything faster made me slack behind in uni work, so technically right now, I shouldn’t be here but continue one trying to finish my assignments.

Good points. I have to say, so many I can’t begin. My eye swelling is gone so I’m incredibly happy. I am leading a girls dance group (for like primary aged girls)! We haven’t started yet but I am so excited!! Probably more than I should be. This wasn’t the original reaction I gave when I was first told to do it, in fact I must admit I probably gave a pretty reluctant face. But going home and sleeping on the idea and falling back on my childhood dreams of being a dance teacher one day, I’ve come to embrace this whole idea, in fact I’m pretty darn excited.

Next, new music. ohmygosh. New music. Despite my sick week, I managed to sneak in a night at the Planetshakers conference last week and God blessed my ears with some amazing music that my soul can just cry out to Him everyday with them, no joke. It’s not just Planetshakers but I managed to encounter some pretty some pretty sweet sounds a few weeks before when procrastinating on Youtube (Bethel Musiccccccccccc).

Anyway here are those sweet links that will be too selfish of me not to share!

so gooooooooood

listening to this takes me to a magical place I can just go to heaven

I feel so empowered after listening to this… it makes me feel like I can do anything (I can)

So I should get back to what I’m meant to be doing, being the good student I should be.

I should add, I’m back to some fasting too. First one was a success so second round here we go 🙂

I promise after this assignment I’ll be back with more posts and music and shindigs.