Decision making

Decision making

Here’s the deal, I’m the worst at decision making. It makes me wonder sometimes why I got picked into being a leader, leader’s are meant to be the best at decision making. Being indecisive is the worst trait of a leader (well I get annoyed if my leaders can’t make a decision). Which brings me to this, I’m a current kids leader that’s being lead by a kids pastor but currently being offered a position to run the toddler section as a proper leader alongside the kids pastor. I can’t decide. omgosh i actually can’t decide.

A normal human being would have leapt on it. I’m the kind who weighs-in the pros and cons, it’s easy if one outweighs another but it’s the worst if they even out and the weight balance is straight. I mean, THAT’S NOT THE POINT OF THE WHOLE PROCESS. The more time I take to decide the more indecisive I get, it completely defeats the purpose of weighing out the issues.

I thought maybe because my brain can’t help itself and God wasn’t talking to me in booming voices, I should talk to people, people in church and the family (because God can speak to us through people, right?). The decision was divided and I’m back to square one. STILL UNDECIDED.

I decided to lay it off, since my senior pastor was away in America and he said he’ll discuss more about it with me regarding the position when I’m back. Besides, I had more pressing issues as a law student such as how to complete 2 law assignments due on the same day without head explosions. I’ve managed that well and better than the decisions I had to make, my head is still intact and it has to be as I have one more test due this Saturday on Constitutional Law.

Then the text came. My senior pastor (SP) is back from America. I have not made a decision. He wants to do an interview next week. 

Brain went on panic mode. The cool calm and collected manner I was planning to have for this Saturday’s test went off-course. SP even asked for my CV, like whuuut… I haven’t even drafted my Consti answers and my CV hasn’t been updated in months.

Times like these, a burning bush wouldn’t scare me. I’d rather a burning bush with God’s voice telling me to decide with A or B than walk around like and aimless drunk.

I’ve been listening to heaps of Chad Veach podcasts the past couple of weeks, many rechoing the main message that God has a plan and that if we stray, He’ll bring as back anyway.

Panic mode clearly didn’t help. I told myself that I should fast and pray on the matter but I didn’t. I ended up shoving it aside, convincing myself I had more priorities like my law assignments. I did not hand the issue to God, which I told my friends I would and that “He’ll help me decide” because I have other things to do. I deliberately dumped it in the corner. I thought I had 2 weeks on the matter but 2 weeks felt like 2 days and now SP is back and I need an answer.

Light Bulb moments

There is a significant difference with leaving the issue with God and dumping it aside and let it rot. God is not going to pick it up for use. He helps us when we are in need, yes, but we have to do the action, ourselves. As in we have to actively pray about it, it should not affect every minute of our lives but neither should be completely ignore it. We have to hand it to God with our own hands in complete surrender and ask for His guidance daily on the matter.

I did it all wrong.

But wrong doesn’t mean an automatic failure.

I have 1 more week. 1 more week to decide. It’s not too late.

One more week to Seek Him, Pray and ask the right help.

 

 

Singleness. Is it such a bad thing?

So just after a couple of days after writing my bottle opener revelation post (just before)… was stalking my cousin’s blog (just like what cousins do NBD) and found something complementing the topic! Too good to not share!

Too good to not share!

Fam, we think alike 😉

check him out too and give him a follow!!

Continually Convicted

There is this growing trend (actually maybe it was there all along but I never noticed it until recently) of our generation seeking relationships with urgency and viewing singleness (or a lack of experience with relationships) as sub-par or undesirable.

There is just SO much wrong with this mindset.

I could go on for years about how much I think this mindset is flawed but for the sake of attention span in reading I will try and summarise. Here goes:

Let me give you a scenario which is all too common for both guys and girls in our young adult stage of life. The situation is two friendship groups of people of the same age and mixed gender for both groups meet for the first time. For the next few hours to weeks, all everyone is thinking of is “who out of this group of people would be compatible with…

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Bottle opener revelation

So just this morning I got tagged in this photo on Facebook by my cell leader based on one of our inside jokes.

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We had a girls night thing at my cell leader’s house just last friday while her husband went on a ski trip. I had my brother in the car just before as I was dropping him off at church for an event before I went to my own. He was going on about my singleness for 22 years.. just the usual banter among the siblings and I responded with “I’m a strong independant woman and I need no man..” , including all the sass and stuff. He shuts me down with the fact I can’t open a bottle by myself… true fact.

At girls night, we were having issues opening a bottle. Being GIRLS night, no boys were around and we didn’t have the muscles. But my cell leader had acquired this fantastic tool of a BOTTLE OPENER.

I was so excited I even took pictures of it.

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I CAN BE THE STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND NEED NO MAN.

Who says God does not provide for us single women?? HE DOES! Philippians 4:19 for proof.

Okay. Excitement over and we opened the bottle. Then we suddenly went around the room and of all topics (after establishing the FACT THAT WE CAN BE STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMEN WHO NEED NO MAN TO OPEN THE BOTTLE)… we talked about boys. gotta be kidding.

If you know me, I tend to love to avoid this topic like wildfire. I’ve been single my whole life, I’m talking no flings, no boy attention kinda single. Not the “I’ve never been in relationships but have had flings and 100 boys confessing to me but I’m just very picky” single.

Just a couple days before girls night I was listening to a podcast by Pastor Chad Veach from ZOE church LA, his wife said this bomb of a quote –

For you single people out there, just keep pursuing God as your number one, keep pursuing and focusing on Him that he has to run after God so hard to find you.

Talk about making the guy work for it. Damn right he better.

But come Sunday after the girls night, I got a text from one of my longest friends while at church. She wasn’t just any friend but the friend who invited me to my first church camp ever where I accepted Christ.

She wanted to do brunch, but I was at church. Something was up for sure. As suspected, she had just broken up with her boyfriend who’d came over from America, he had been a tad bit abusive. Despite feeling tired from the day, I met her up for a coffee date after church.

My friend grew up in a Christian home but as we grew older and life took us on our different paths, I could see her distance growing not just from church but from me as well. It hurt me to see her go through that, live through ways that God had wanted us to avoid. How did the friend who helped in my deliverance from all this, to get into all this??

There was a period in my life where every single one of my friends were hooking up with guys, if not getting boyfriends, they were getting pursued by 101 boys they were not even interested in. I was the friend they turned to to help draft up those “turn down” texts. (which apparently am good at it but never got the chance to use that skill in my own life LOL). Through all of that though, I developed a sense of insecurity within myself on what was it that I didn’t have which made me not have all that? It’s stupid, writing all of these now and thinking how foolish I was before to be thinking of those things. (THOSE ARE PROBLEMS GURL)

Seeing my friend in her struggles showed me the reasons why I didn’t have to feel that way.

God knew me best. He knew that inner part of me was not ready and I have so much more to work on. Regardless of what people say about readiness in a person to pursue these things, only God knows best and that is the only truth. It is not our position to question His plans but trust them.

I would’ve been a mess by now if I didn’t have God. I’d be influenced by my friends and not God because I wouldn’t have been able to handle those things properly. My studies would’ve been from failure to drop-out and I’ll be just R-E-K-T.

God provides, He thinks of us and we don’t have to worry at all. He has created innovative geniuses that helped revolutionize the way I can open a bottle, I can be that strong independent woman that need no man (for the mean time) and pursue Him so hard and fulfill the plans He has before me.

And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him. – Hebrews 11:6

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