Seek help, offer help, Be the help

I did not start my morning great today. It started off with a late start, a discussion turned mini-argument with the parents on the July trip back to Malaysia, which I have unfortunately still am having trouble to wrap my head around it despite the previous blog post.

I knew staying at home wouldn’t get my assignment and work done, I had to get out of the house because of the moody environment I had created among myself and my parents. Library was the only option but the drive there made part of my “ceebs” attitude resurface. To top things off, my current spot in the Doncaster library is in between 2 separate tutoring sessions and I can hear this tutor talking about how “SACs in schools are very unfair…”.

I needed to clear my head, this frustration. The effort of coming all the way to the library can’t and shouldn’t be wasted so I decided to open emails in search of a devotion to clear my head.. “God please speak to me pleaseeeeeee…”

The story that God gave me was completely unrelated to what I was going through but nonetheless a hit in the head, which is what I needed.

Story of the crippled man lowered through the roof by others for Jesus to heal him – Mark 2

How is that related?

One can’t go to Jesus alone, we need help. We need guidance. The more hurt or injured we are, the more we need to accept the help offered to us to reach Jesus.. to reach for healing. Vice versa, the more injured the other person is, the more help you have to offer to them.

We can’t do this alone.

I loved doing things alone. Still do sometimes…in fact my whole solo trip to the library was to escape everything to be alone.. guilty.

Crippled man couldn’t do it alone if it wasn’t for the 4 men who made the effort to lower him through the roof… all that effort. If he had so much pride and the men had less compassion, none of it would have happened and no healing can take place.

Too much of today’s mentality of I can do what I want. My own way. Myself has been taken too seriously. I’m not saying it’s bad, I think it’s inspirational but only to a certain extent. If we are hurting to a certain point till we can’t help ourselves anymore, it’s okay to reach out for that help, for that love that others are willing to offer you.

We need to know when to draw the line and honestly see beyond what we can do. There is a reason we humans have been built with the emotional conscience that can throw us out of whack. It needs the feed of help when we can’t do it ourselves.

Please do yourself a favour. Whatever it is,  wherever you are, whoever you maybe… get help or offer the help needed.

I certainly need help myself. Always have, had and do. There were times I left it too late but Thank God for constant reminders and merciful rescues even at the last minute.

p/s: I sent an apology text to my parents before this post in case you were wondering. I tend to wanna mend the tension I have straight after I’ve reached sanity. Reduced that mountain of potential anger and hurt.

Reference: Proverbs31 Ministries

 

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Dillemaaa

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I aim to ace it.

But I always end up with a pass and an occasional fail.

I do not understand.

 

Knowing Nothing - Jon Snow

Maybe I’m not made for this. This goal that I have been basically headed for my whole life.

Maybe it’s the lack of drive. It is starting to diminish by the day. The ambition starts to drop. whyy oh whyy

Maybe it’s the distractions. But the more I try to distance myself from them, the more I crave for it and they just.. appear again. It is not working.

I hate how everything I’m doing now is determining my future. For once I want to do something where I know it is certain and it is right.

It’s not easy omgoodness it is not.

My biochem and cell biology exams were a wreck.

Maybe the effort wasn’t enough. But it is too late to cry on spilt milk.

I need to save the sour ones now. These sour milks, Physiology and Law.
Please don’t fall, please don’t

Help me Lord.

I was so fed up with biochem the other day, an hour before the exam I decided to flip the Bible instead of the notes.
God flipped this on me

James 1

“2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

The exam still wasn’t the best but at least there is a thin line of hope still to hang on to I guess.

He’s up to something.

I still don’t know what it is.

What the Fraustraates..