Unfollowing a Following

I have an assignment due tomorrow, just the conclusion and proofreading to go… but like the true form of a procrastinator, I decided to go on Instagram.

I went beyond just the natural scrolling of the normal feed (thanks Instagram for the Stories, what a tool for a procrastinator like me… many precious minutes/hour wasted).

The thing with InstaStories, unlike Snapchat, is that it can link you to another account, which links you to another and the next thing you know… you are 50 links in deep and you forgot how you ended up there or which account got you started with the chain of stalking links.

(I am a professional stalker and I know it)

After spending a good almost hour just going through linked links of links from the stories and still bored (more like trying to avoid my assignment), I decided to stalk myself… I had reached the mad point where everyone became boring and I found myself interesting.

Then I got myself into the links of my followers and followings (you know the ones you have on the top of your profile). Ever since I owned Instagram, there’s been a preconceived ‘ideal’ profile on instagram where it’s ‘better’ to have more Followers and Follow less people. There’s like apparently… an ‘ideal ratio’ to make you seem ‘popular’. I know this because I come from a girls school where the “Instafamous” status is highly favoured and everyone’s goal. I know people who take at least 2 days editing a single photo before posting…101 filter options later.

Clearly, I’m not that popular because my ‘Following’ is greater than ‘Followers’. Plus I don’t put that much effort into editing. Instafamous status takes hard work. I decided to filter my ‘Followings’, half of them were celebrities and half of them I had already fell out of love with since high school. I managed to get my following count down but it was still a great deal larger.ere’s where I’m really getting at.

Here’s where I’m really getting at.

I stumbled upon one of my “Instafamous” classmates from highschool during my filters. She has a solid following of almost 5000 followers and probably follows around 300. She wasn’t just a high school mate, we ended up in the same course, same university and even shared a couple of classes and lectures together. She’s currently a jet-setter after graduating and living in some exotic place in Europe. Naturally, her Instagram reflects it (as all instafamous people like to portray #jetsetter).

I was pretty sure she followed me and had followed more back in the day (she used to like my stuff), but somehow I decided to search the people she followed.

I wasn’t there.

She unfollowed me.

Okay, I’m not going to start a bitchfight, she’s halfway across the world now and clearly, as someone we have drifted apart so much that she even doesn’t see me worth being followed. But the thing is, we were friends. We actually hung out before in high school and university. I’m not talking about acquaintances here, people who had only met me a couple of times still followed me. Am I really that unworthy of a follow??
(People who say Instagram starts friendships… well they do the opposite too)

I know it sounds petty to make this an issue but it really got me thinking with the word ‘filter’.

Clearly, Jess has unfollowed me for unknown (or for the instafamous ratio) reasons. But truthfully, is there a reason to follow everybody?

Instafamous ratio issue aside, maybe filtering who we follow actually matters. The people we follow actually do make a difference in the way we feel, act and perceive. I’m lying if I said I’ve never copied some styles off the pictures I followed on Instagram, reacted to them, laughed at them or even be angered by them (case of FOMO when a friend goes to a party you weren’t invited to). Maybe some people are not worth following.

I follow people who I look up to, people who had been a part of my life, people who are in my life and people who (despite apart) I know I will meet again, people worth keeping.

Those who don’t fall in those lists, who don’t view you the same as you do to them. I don’t know why you should give them the “Follow” button. Sometimes it’s not just things, but people too, who need to be discerned.

Don’t waste your emotional space, time space and follow space.

A man with many friends can still be ruined, but a true friend sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

A few hours of procrastination later, I will officially now complete my assignment.

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The Pork Belly Challenge

I’ve always been aware of my indecisive character, in fact, the struggles of making decisions just frustrates me itself. But when you’re confronted and told off about your character, you know it’s pretty much a hardcore problem. I’m talking about being told off by a non-family member, I get told off by family so much but others, not really.

As a Christian, I’ve always loved the fact that I could escape this problem by “Letting God decide”, “give my problems to God”, “It’s in God’s hands”, “Jesus take the wheel”, I-don’t-need-to-do-this attitude. I feel like I got it all handled, when people ask me of my decisions, I’ll respond (to their annoyance), God is still handling it.

I know you hate those type of people.

You’ll hate me.

I was told by my friend while discussing my problem, that God has given us the abilities to make our own decisions too. It kind of struck me in 2 ways:

  1. God blessed me with a brain to use
  2. God also dumped the problem back to me

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one to be pushed about and have people make decisions for me. But when I’m stuck with situations where I seriously have no idea what to do, I struggle big time. Sometimes I’ll narrow it down, but sometimes choosing between the best of 2 favourite options kills me even harder.

For example, today’s given situation:

To eat Potato Rosti for lunch or a Pork Belly Burger.

I love Pork Belly, I don’t eat it often. It will also cost me more money and it’ll make me take a step back in weight-loss goals. But it’s not offered everywhere.

I also like potato rosti, but I love pork belly more. Potato rosti was cheaper and available in more places, also a healthier option.

After much internal debate, I went for the pork belly. It was delicious, no regrets… in the first 3 hours after.

Currently, I can feel my tummy fats has increased in thickness. Definitely post-feed guilt. The meal turned out to be paid for.

Right now, the wise thing to do, with the brain God blessed me, is to hit the gym tomorrow and burn off that pork belly.

I view this as a challenge, not a complaint (I know it sounded like one in the start). God has given each one of us our own individual and unique weaknesses, to challenge us to grow into better people. This is mine, and it will be my 2017 challenge to work on.

A Christmas Gift

Before I begin, apologies for the long absence.

It’s been a post I’ve meant to do since I got the news but got a bit carried away since arriving back in Melbourne.

Late last year I was told that I had a lump in my right breast and was to go for half-yearly checks for growths and risks. It dawned on me the seriousness of my condition when I was referred to a breast cancer surgeon this year and was told that my lump grew. A biopsy was performed and by the grace of God, benign.

I’ve cut alcohol, tried to be healthy. I’m not gonna lie and say it was smooth sailing, I struggled. There were times I’d even wanna forget about it, that there was no such thing. I was only 22, to face the news that women only receive during their mid-life crisis… here I am, not even hitting the quarter-life, but with a growing lump that may be potentially cancerous??

As the date for my next scan approached, it dawned on me that it’s time to face the news again, this time without my mother. I was back in Melbourne, alone. She was in Malaysia. I started my fervent praying for the lump to not grow, or maybe miraculously shrink…

I told my parents I could do this alone, the scan had to be done regardless, it’s for my health anyway. But just the day before, I had a mini-breakdown at my hoome-group over the fear of receiving bad news alone. Thankfully, 2 of my friends agreed to come along to give me support at the Clinic.

God had better plans.

The ultrasound technician spent a good 10 minutes rolling the stick around my boob, the warm gel had turn chilly and no news about the lump. (This was meant to be a good thing, but the technician’s confused face just made me worried).

That’s weird… I can’t find the lump” She was squinting her eyes at the screen. “I think I will call in another specialist to find it for me… this never happens”

Another specialist came in, this time having my previous scans, bot technician and specialist were trying to scrutinize the scans as hard as possible. “This is an unusual case, here I was thinking that you’re an easy one but no…” she said. The specialist chimed in and said, “Looks like the problem solved itself”.

It was then I knew, that miracles happen.

God heals. More than I’d even asked for.

The breast surgeon I was seeing did a final check and told me that the lump was gone.

God’s early Christmas miracle on the 30th of November.

I’m writing this down because it is a testament to God’s love. It is something I had always believed in but never occurred in my personal life until that day, where my lump fully disappeared.

Bear in mind, I did not think I’d deserved it. I’m a normal human being who makes mistakes, commit failures and occasionally falling into temptation. There were times I succumbed to worldly things despite my faith, I was the last person to deserve such a miracle but God gave it to me.

You may believe you are undeserving, but God gives miracles and gifts to those He believes in, those He believes that deserve, no matter how undeserving we feel we are.

My heart was so full that day, typing this makes my heart full again as I was experiencing a bad day just before. It will serve me as a constant reminder that I am loved, that God loves us so much that He sent His only begotten Son for us, this Christmas day.

The Greatest Christmas Gift.

 

Slimming Adventures

Food. Food. Food.

The glut for the past 2 weeks has been very real, I had to take digestion pills during the weekend in Singapore due to consuming more food than I can digest. The torture I put myself through was crazy and I didn’t stop, I even bought myself a bottle of pills to prepare for the next bout of food.

I mean I flew 8 hours up here not for nothing.

I’m currently in Malaysia, the land I spent my childhood and early teens in. Compared to my many trips down in the past since moving to Melbourne, I was able to reconnect with my middle school friends and going to Singapore to meet with my high school friends.

It is no secret to those who knew me before Australia that I was a skinnier, much slimmer, much fitter girl. I had put on a total of 10kgs post-KL and I have been nowhere near to going back to the original 47kg self in 2010.

However, this holiday, the glut has been so real. The food has been amazing and the prices were so cheap and I couldn’t help myself. My middle school friend had just returned from her UK studies for good, so I spent the last few days just catching up with her and being the ultimate Groupon buddy (as well as luxury window shopping things I cannot afford).

She found a free slimming deal.

It’s freeeeee..she says, and she would do it with me. (She is 160cm, under 50kgs, clearly doing it for the fun of it).

I wouldn’t pay to do something like this, never. But I was always curious with what was involved. My mum mentioned to me that she tried it once post-pregnancy but it doesn’t work at all and is fully gimmicks. But I could try it out for myself if I wanted, it was free after all. Surrounded by blunt Asian family and friends, being told I am ‘much meatier’ than before can be over-bearing, this should be harmless.

So, I will now narrate this adventure.

Consultation
I knew that the slimming centres giving out free treatments was too good to be true, these places sell packages for thousands of bucks. “Proven results” banners are everywhere. It was cheap treatment and it wasn’t a 1 day job, people sign up packages for months.

The consultant gave me a horrified glare when I told her I was only here for 2 weeks in KL and that I was from Melbourne. She still tried to hard-sell me a RM4000 package, saying that I could “come in everyday and will go back to the pre-Melbourne weight” i call bullshit.

She asked me for my ‘target areas’. Tummy… only, I replied. She made me take off my top.

Oh my God, you’re very fat everywhere.. Your arms also very big.. aiyo tummy also very very big -squeezes my fats- ehh your thighs also got a lot of fat” – Malaysian accent emphasized (she was very aunty)

So this is how they hard sell and guilt trip fat people. I told you only tummy. Thanks for telling me I’m an all-around fatass.

I insisted that I will begin with the free 1st treatment first to decide. 1stly, I couldn’t afford (I didn’t tell her because I wanted my free session), 2ndly… what if it’s some stupid gimmick I would sell myself into.

Steam-Room
Was told it is meant to open up my body pores (what for). 

Firstly, I felt like dying. It’s like a sauna, much hotter, much stuffier. I felt like being dumped in a kettle. Next to my cubicle was a fat lady going through her paid package.

Secondly, I can’t breathe. My nostrils burned as I breathed, thank God they provided me a towel for me to breathe through or I would’ve died or be diagnosed with burnt nostrils for life.

Thirdly, I don’t see the purpose. It was a steam room, the lady told me I will sweat. I was wet all over 10 seconds into the 10 minutes I was in there, I swear 90% of moisture on me during the whole duration was the steam, 10% sweat (but I doubt it).

Suffocating Torture. Why fat ladies WHY.

Pictures
Made me strip and take photos of my fat self. (for before and after effects… they didn’t know I wasn’t coming back) While taking my photos and measuring the diameters of my fats, slimming lady discovers I could speak and understand Mandarin.. immediately stops bitching about my friend and I in Mandarin.

“I thought you guys were English educated….” she says. Well, you didn’t ask for my primary school did you ey?

Lavender Scrub
I feel no scrub. What scrub. Slimming lady just slathered 50% oil and 50% water misture on my body… “preparing for the next step” she says…”scrub is to remove dead skin”…

There was no scrub… so no dead skin was removed.

Hot Blanket
With 50% oil mixture still on me.. she made me lie on a sheet of plastic. Next thing I knew was  me being wrapped in plastic, a heavy blanket wrapped around me… I was marinated meat.

“20 minutes…” she said, and left me there to marinated.. in the room.. alone.

20 minutes felt like 20 hours. Worst 20 minutes of my life.

About 5 minutes in I felt like cooked meat. I felt the mixture and I swear by this moment, I confirmed that the mixture was probably 80% water, 20% oil and lavender smell was artificial as fart.

I was boiling meat.

At 12 minutes in, I knew I was dying. I don’t know why women put these people in business. oh my goodness it made me miss hot pilates…  A LOT.

God saved me, I discovered an emergency button. I managed to squirm my arms out of my boiling burrito sack of marination and press it. Slimming lady came it, told me “8 more minutes” (that’s how I knew I was 12 minutes in).. and ditched me again.

Was apparently not well cooked enough. (Purpose of that procedure was apparently to “increase blood circulation”.. more like “increase chances of death”)

Shower
To wash of my marinate

Fat Burner
HAHAHA I don’t know how to begin this.

Slimming lady lathered on and ampuole to help me “burn my fats”, she lathered them on my fat arms, fat thighs, fat tummy.

2 minutes later, I felt like they were on fire… “Oh they are burning your fat” she says… more like burning my body and the next day I will have no skin.

She then wrapped my fat parts with this wirey stuff that was hooked onto a ‘slimming machine’ that will give out the vibrations to “help stimulate and work your muscles”..

So this is how lazy people exercise… pay thousands of bucks to get their muscles vibrated. oh my goodness.

I slept throughout the vibration session. I don’t know if anything was activated. If anything, my muscles were relaxed and this was the best part of the session. I slept.

Conclusion

Please. Don’t. Go.

I don’t understand why women do it. Yea it may have worked if you attended 50 times of that, but it’s all a marketing business gimmick. Proven results can come after maybe 1 year and over thousands of dollars wasted. I recommend hot pilates.

The atrocious fact was they actually wanted my dangerously skinny friend to sign up so that she can ‘prevent herself from getting fatter’. Are you kidding, she needs to put on weight.

Yes. I know I do occasionally suffer from self-esteem body image issues especially  when being surrounded by old friends who remind me of my old shape. This time I took a step too far, but it was free.

I treated it as an adventure. Solely for the experience. But if I had really been engrossed in my body-image and if I really was my old self before Jesus, I probably would have signed up (and get scolded by my parents in the process). Honestly, it can be quite easy to fall-victim to these stuff, that’s why they’re still in business. (many ladies were going through their paid treatment while I was going through my free one).

Why? Because the outside world can be over-bearing. It will be a lie if I told you it never affected me. It would be a lie if I told you that I didn’t feel anything when the slimming centre told me I was too fat.

The commercial world is out there to really hard sell stuff to us based on our flaws. I swear I only read this on the media, but yesterday was my first-hand experience of being marketed based on my flaws.

I’m sorry but regardless of my weight. If I exercise and lose weight in the process, that is God’s blessing, if not, I’ll be the way God wants me to be. I don’t know why women would pay to go through semi-death, please invest them in a good body massage (much cheaper too) if you have that much money.

 

 

How to Recuperate: Guide from an Introvert to Introverts

Disclaimer: No scientific or psychological  backed evidence for the following. Just casually backed with experiences from a 22 year old.

There are many things that can trigger energy loss in an introvert. Here are just some of the following ones

  1. Socializing
  2. Socializing
  3. Socializing
  4. Socializing
  5. Everything

1. NAP

This is first because this is my favourite. I remember a friend ranting to me about how males need more sleep than females, I found myself slightly retreating into a hole because I’m an introverted female who loves naps and gets flack from her mother for taking too much naps. I sleep too much.

But I need it. Especially if I had returned from socializing, or will be anticipating a social event.

Being an introvert doesn’t mean continuous silence and corner-hiding in social events. I can talk, with occasional (or not) awkward interactions, but me needs a nap after. In fact, just last Saturday I attended a church camp, I’ve never spoken to so many new people in a single day that by 3pm, my body started crumbling and I had to go to my room for a good 30 minutes of beauty sleep, drying out my eyes with my contact lens in the process.

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2. Workout

This is strange following from the above. But I’m an introvert with energy. I socialize when required and my socializing drains my energy. However, if it consists of awkward situations, I’d rather conserve that energy for something better.

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My current obsession in hot pilates. Dancing is my other love. Notice that they don’t involve team sport. I want to recuperate and not waste this energy.

Solo dancing helps recharge the social energy or let out the physical energy I’ve kept after a whole day of being a recluse.

Here’s a current dance jam:

3. Kill the Media

Back in the day when I didn’t need Facebook for my study discussions, I was famous among my friends for my random deactivations (because they can’t tag me in anything).

Even though not physically demanding, virtual socialization can drain me not physically, but just mentally in general.

I’m well-known for late text replies. sorry everyone.

Putting my phone on ‘airport’ and ‘do not disturb’ is one of my favourite functions.
– explains the late replies

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I even went without my snapchat for a week. It was great. But I eventually put it back on because I wanted to see the snaps of my friend’s dog.. LOL.

4. Write

This is what I’m doing. This is what I’m currently doing. This is the reason for the existence of my blog.

Probably not everyone’s cup of tea, it does require lots of mental energy, especially when trying to create content. I’m in the middle of exams at the moment so content is sparse, periodic and probably not very entertaining.

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5. Pray

Also one of my favourites hence I put it last. In fact, I believe it’s the most important and most effective one after napping. It doesn’t just energize me but gives me the motivation, faith and hope that I can do anything, be it to enter a time of socializing, exam or any activity. I cannot recommend this enough.

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14 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. – 1 John 5:14

This one has Biblically backed evidence so disclaimer won’t apply to Number 5.

That’s all y’all

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Sidenote: 1 week to freedom

 

 

 

Decisions, made.

I’m an emotional person and I do my best to hide them, but recently it’s been a challenge and if you know me well, you can pretty much detect the ups and downs. If you don’t and you read my blog, you are a cheat…

Anyways, I made the decisions. I didn’t fast because it’s the time of the month and I’m anaemic. Losing blood with an already lack of oxygen and starving myself will only call for a suicidal mission.

I didn’t take that Kids paid position. I know for sure that my commitment will decline halfway through the contract and my capacity was limited, I know there were advices telling me that ‘I can do everything in Christ’s strength’, but God gave me wisdom too, that is to not decide to please the people around me and go only with the capacity I have been given.

I’m a law student. I’m not trying to be arrogant here but the harsh reality is that I actually have a lot of load to study. You can’t advice me based on your past experiences in your different course. You and I were made different in God’s eyes, we’re not the same and what you could do in your days doesn’t mean that I could. I thank you for them good advices and you mean well, but please don’t judge my decision as an interpretation that I’m “scared of taking up more responsibilities”. It’s both flattering and disappointing to be told that you can do something but in reality you can’t.

I’ve got rid of one problem.

Now to stay in my kids position or youth.

The youth pastor has been tossing me the idea since my last mission trip to join the youth. I’d never really ruled it out because I’d worked with the youth during mission trip and it was pretty engaging, it was different. But I love the kids at my church and the stuff I’ve got to do with them this year (especially the girls) was mindblowing amazing, it’s a season too good to leave.

One of my reasons not going into the other kids position was of my plans of getting legal clerkships in the future. I’m a law student, will be a law graduate, but I don’t know if I will be a lawyer. I have no legal experience and how I got here was through complete faith that God had a plan for me and I don’t know what I will do next. I sacrificed all my years of preparing for Dentistry for this and it’d better be good.

There was an employment expo on Tuesday, just before Fashion Week shenanigans and I had to pass through the expo on my way to heat my lunch (because I’m cheap and can’t afford to buy food). Since it was in my face, may as well check it out.

I did not see any law related booths on my way to the microwaves and it was way to crowded, I can get claustrophobic. I decided that on my way back to the library, I’d give it a second shot.

The crowd had subsided and as I was walking back, right in the corner of my eye I see an orange banner (markerters take note, orange is eye-catching). It’s for a Youth Legal centre related to youth employment and legal issues. omgosh finally a law thing, Deakin is so stupid if it offers law and no one wants to employ us, what a fail.

Mr Youth Law booth worker tells me it’s hard to get in, everyone wants to do the internship there for the experience as we get an auto-credit into our course as a subject. Chances are higher if I have youth experience.. in any field.

Youth Experience

Really now

You know what popped into my brain. I could also see the youth pastor give me her cheesy grin in the back of my head.

I went home. Prayed. Talked to my mum. She even gave me her blessing. Erghh but decisions though…

Today was leadership meeting day, everyone (leaders) was there.

I saw the youth pastor and confirmed my decision, she was esctatic. My friend from kids ministry whined, my kids boss deleted (and re-added) me on the Kids Ministry chat, just for trigger purposes.

Then I saw Lauren, and later Erin. They were massive real life triggers.

I mention these two girls in my earlier posts. They moved to the church early this year, from Malaysia. New to country, new to church, no friends and still settling in.

I still remembered the looks of their faces on their first day, a bit apprehensive and doubtful, all the existing girls already had their own cliques. I knew that look. I had that look when I was their age, going into Sunday school.

When I had that look, I hid in the toilet for 2 hours. No one in my Sunday School would bother with a shy girl because shy girls don’t talk anyway. I made sure the sisters will not feel that way and no one was going to go toilet hiding under my watch.

I had a soft spot for them. I wanted to make sure that they will not have that experience I had and when I started out church life. When the dance group was set up I made sure they were in. I’d even let Erin do her gym work across the routine.

They have friends now. They’re pretty good (though the younger one sometimes roams around alone).

Lauren made an origami and passed it to me during lunch (at the meeting) and said, “I made this for you..” I looked at her, I tried not to cry. What am I going to tell her, we’re not dancing next year anymore?

As I drove to uni from the leader’s meeting, Adele’s song started playing in the car. If you don’t know Adele songs, Adele only sings sad songs, sad songs that make you cry. Even if they’re for lovers and you have no lover, you will still feel pain and sadness and YOU WILL CRY. well. I cried.

I cried because Kids ministry was the first ministry I’d ever served in my church life. It was the ministry that made me have faith in church life again and God. It made me discover more of myself, that I was more than the flower pot shy loser in the corner who doesn’t like to talk and was permanenetly awkward, more than a student who just did assignments. It made me realize that God can push me to do things I believe I couldn’t, but could, because He believed in me. I mean I spoke in public. That’s a feat.

I cried also because I was scared even though I was certain of my decision. It was a new thing, it was a deja vu of emotions just like the one before I entered kids ministry, but just a tad different because this time, I’m socially less awkward now but still am.. like 50%. (there has been improvements of 50%).

It’s a new season that is entering, a year straight after my big switch to law, another big switch.

To my 2 years younger self who was crying on the night before her first time serving in Kids ministry, you will miss it and you loved it. Thank God for that.

To my future self, I hope it’s the same. I’ll see you on the other side.

Fashion week

“Hey hun, do you wanna do back of house dressing and not all this shit?”

I was on the 3rd floor of Melbourne Town Hall, clearing up the racks and packing boxes of all the thousands of dollars worth of designer wear that had been on the previous shows. The way the items were treated, for the amount they’re worth, they should be heavily discounted once they’re back in store.

It was murky and dim, because Town Hall is like this few hundred year old heritage building that no one bothers to fix up properly but willing to pay thousands in rent because of it’s rich history. I was sweating heaps and when the offer came up, it was too good to refuse.

I followed the stylist to the HUB where the show was held. I had no idea which show I was dressing for until I saw PETER JACKSON emblazoned on the runway. what the..

I kept my cool and went backstage. Suits everywhere, every colour, every style. The stylist (who I swear is gay) gave me my instructions.

“The zips and buttons have to be unbuttoned and unzip so you can pop him straight into his second outfit right away, you’ll be pressed for time. Make sure the fly is zipped.”

What

I am dressing a male.

Omg I’m (trying to be) a good Christian girl and here you are asking me to dress a male.

I speak whale even better than male.

What am I doing. I thought I was doing the Alannah Hill show. What is this. Alannah Hill is tomorrow omg.

So I continued to keep my cool and nodded to gay stylist 1 as he continued his instructions with the others.

Then the models walked in.

Omg when did God create such beautiful people. How come. Why. When.

When I see above average people at events or walking on the street, I do my best to avoid because I’m so shy and I blush more then I talk, avoiding is so much better. Now I’m in a room with like 15 of them. What. Six packs everywhere.

I couldn’t fangirl, they weren’t Bieber, but they were too good to not fangirl either. But I was there for a job and I had to keep a straight face. omg my insides had like 10 ferris wheels doing 100 km/h spins.

What’s worse, during rehearsals my head felt so light and I had to close my eyes for a bit to get going.

I texted my friends and sent them sneaky snaps, every girlfriend I know was envious of my position and here I was with almost-going-to-faint feelings. I was continuously snapping and chatting to keep me from fainting. everything is okay.

I didn’t know if my feelings were because of too much good-looking genes in a room or the lack of oxygen. I always thought they were a figure of speech but my head-spin was real.

Nonetheless, God pulled me through. Gay stylists 1,2,3,4 had to come in and help a few other fumbly girls to dress the models. I dressed my model who was probably semi-pissed at me for doing things a bit too slow (later found out he’s actually semi-famous and has done many runways, so I’m quite crap). Sorry Shayne it’s my first time and I am a good Christian girl who hits boys more than dressing them so please sorry not sorry, i’m not zipping you, zip yourself.

No, I didn’t say that aloud but I did make him zip himself. I only buttoned/unbuttoned him and that’s it. I did saw some thirsty as girls zipping and unzipping the other models but omgoodness I can’t, I’m already fainting.

Anyways, fashion week shenanigans over and I’m back to my normal self. I don’t know if I’ll be dressing men anytime soon but after that show I’d say I’m pretty confident with suit styling and everything else but zip your pants moves.

So that’s the story of how I got myself a Peter Jackson back of house position.