Mama

“Have you texted your mother yet?”

“Are you going to call your mother?”

“So what did you buy for your mother?”

I started Mother’s Day 2014 not with my mother, but packing up and leaving a lodge in Blairgowrie after spending the weekend trying to make new friends with people from my new church. The morning started with those questions, which didn’t come to me quite yet as I was still trying to keep awake from a late night of lack of sleep. It made me feel really guilty.

As the phone reception at the lodge was unbelieva-freaking-bly terrible, I only managed to log back into my social media sites once I got back to civilisation aka home. Selfies with mothers unprepared for selfies with their social-media driven children flooded my newfeed on Facebook, #tbt with mother’s either came really late or really early that day as they kept rolling down my Instagram, I double-tapped them all.

I didn’t do anything fancy. I didn’t have any selfies or ready-to-post #tbt photos on my phone. My mother’s day started off with a beautiful sunrise at the beach (pretty much by myself), packing up, cooking breakfast and a long drive back to civilization. My mother picked me up, I wished her the wishes that millions of children have done so earlier before me and we drove home. We fried frozen food and ate it together with the iPad, Facetiming with my aunt (a single mom) about her amazing mother’s day, which I had a feeling made my mum a tad bit jealous because my brother and I didn’t do anything. – what a start

It wasn’t a fancy day at all. No #icecreamswiththemother #familydayformothersday material. It was the exact same thing you would see us do anytime. My mother even went to do gardening even though I insisted that she shouldn’t. I sound like a terrible daughter, my brother sounds like a terrible son. My mother is probably jealous of other mothers.

But despite that jealousy, she made lunch this morning for me again, like she did for me every other day since I started school. My mother is incredibly selfless. She sacrificed a loving life with her husband in Kuala Lumpur to feed 2 ungrateful, low-scoring in grades kids. We don’t deserve it and we were repeatedly told that and still she stayed. She complained to us about the hardships she’s going through for us, being in Australia, away from her husband and her love, still she stayed. She wakes up every morning unfailingly to prepare us food, despite being told countless of times not to do it, my brother and I are being spoilt, still she does it. My mother spoils me unconditionally, for all the right reasons in the wrong way. She does it out of love but displays her anger, wishing we were doing it ourselves but still does it anyway. She worries for our well-being, like it’s her full-time job. It makes us feel guilty but loved at the same time.

I remember when I couldn’t fit-in in church (which I always do because of all that church hopping), she got herself all worried. She wanted us to grow in Christ, it was one of her greatest worries if my brother and I didn’t. We were the top list in her prayers (besides my dad). She started trying to help by getting in contact with the Pastor’s wife, who got hold of my number, obviously given out by desperate mum and started giving out to a couple of leaders I had no clue who they were. Just to try and help me make friends I started texting strangers. Just this weekend, they became my friends, sort of as we still have a lot to bond on. But my mother helped me take the first step. When I decided to serve in Sunday School which requires me at church at 8.45am (church only starts at 10am), my mother was thrilled. She willingly wanted to drive me there every Sunday morning, she even picked a friend of mine living nearby and we went to Sunday School together.

She was so willing for me to do all those weird activities in church, just for me to fit in (because I’m helpless at socialising). My mother normally says “No” to sleepovers, especially if they were people I’ve known less than a year. When I was invited by a group of girls from church for a sleepover, I was suprised my mother said “Yes”. However the circumstances were not ideal, she was leaving to Europe with my Dad, my brother will be home alone and he’s unlikely to survive it despite being 17. My mother went through all measures to make it happen, persuading my aunt and cousin to sleepover at ours while I sleepover at the girls. Trust me, it’s a big job to persuade my aunt. She gave in to lots of weird things this year just for the sake of wanting me and helping me to fit in church. Lastest one? Spending the 1st half of mothers day without me, letting me go on a chill getaway with groups of churchies. It’s crazy. These were things she would never let me do, despite turning 20 soon. I love my mother very much. I know

I don’t do fancy things many children did yesterday for their mothers, but one thing for sure I never do, Hide from my mother. She is my bestfriend. I know she is cranky-as at times but which woman isn’t? I tell her everything I do and if I didn’t, I’ll be so ridden with guilt I’ll tell her anyways.

Everyday should be Mothers Day. You should be telling her everything and taking selfies with her everyday. It shouldn’t just be on a special day and make it feel special. It should be mandatory, because she does it for use everyday anyway. Childrens Day is like a 24/7 event for her but Mothers Day just a day in 365 days, it’s just unfair and terrible.

Mama,
You have done so many things I can’t just write them all here. My keyboard will wreck and my site will crash. You have been amazing despite me being terrible. You loved me through all the anger and yelling. I know sometimes you act like you don’t care but deep down you do. I’m sorry you didn’t get those fancy things many mothers received, I’m sorry you didn’t get 15 hours of fame on my social media accounts but if you would love it, I will do it for you, not on Mother’s day or your birthday. It’ll be a weekly thing for the both of us. Happy dinners and girly chats. Selfies in my phone so we could laugh at it by ourselves in the future (I know you hate the internet anyway). Thanks for everything, especially just loving me. To be half as great as you are as a mum to my children would be my dream. xx Your Daughter

To all the mothers in my family, Happy Mothers Day ❤

CJ3V5731