I know it is a word that’s being used in quite a sarcastic tone now a days. But 2 days ago, it made me realise how important it is and what it really means to actually believe in it and that it actually worked.
I had my Anatomy mid-semester test on Tuesday. I winged it so hard, I was so not prepared but I wasn’t nervous or anything. I was so chilled which is pretty rare for me for an unprepared test. That’s not the point though… I was too chilled for it that I even woke up late for it.
Natural reflex when one is late to a test worth 15% of the grade is to panic. If I was to take the bus to uni like I usually do, I would be late and can kiss my test goodbye. I didn’t cover the whole syllabus required for the test, I knew it was going to be a test filled with guesses, if I missed it the difference wouldn’t be massive. But I don’t miss out on tests, even if I can get only a 2% out of it I don’t care. I panicked out of my lateness instead of unprepared-for-a-test state.
I decided to get on the car. My mum was dropping my brother to school anyway. He goes to school at Kew (near the city), which isn’t far from from uni (in the city).
My test starts at 9am. We dropped my brother off at school at 8.30am. Barkers Road traffic was stagnant. Instant reaction: die die die.
Mum decided to do some de-tours to avoid traffic. Each turn we made turned out worse, the traffic got heavier, no one was moving. We were stuck dead-on. She was obviously pissed at me, she had the right to be and I was pissed at myself, it was my fault after all.
After a few illegal turns, we ended up on the freeway and got on Alexandra Parade. Traffic still stagnant like any other road we were on. die die die.
I decided to plug my earphones in, pressed play on the iPod. Listening to my mother’s scolding wasn’t going to help me further and it was not the kind of mood I want to go into an un-prepared test for. Guess what was playing… of all the songs.
Yes. They were singing about trusting God too. As the lyrics go on “I will trust in Youuuuuuu, I will trust in Youuuuuuuu…” It’s not normally a song I would listen, I like my fast beat songs by Hillsong, Michelle Williams, Planetshakers, etc. I continued listening anyway. I looked out the window, the traffic was still stone as, no one was moving, it’s 8.57am. die die die.
I said a silent short prayer in my head. Okay God, I’m gonna trust you okay, if that’s what you want. Deep down I was crying but I trusted Him anyway, because the song kept going on about it. It is sometimes hard for me because of what happened ages ago during the ski trip, but I knew deep down I couldn’t use a single incident to justify everything He did for me.
I arrived at uni at 9.03am. I ran to the hall. Panting… as I reached.. I recognized someone from my subject standing outside the hall, then another, then another and another one. What? Aren’t they suppose to start?? I AM LATE.
“There was a stuff up with the venue, clash or something, so we’re starting late. The supervisors are late to, they’re setting up now.”
So this is TRUST.
IT IS REAL.
These little things that happen in my life, these small yet incredibly favours God does for me, just to remind me He is out there, He has my back. It is these things that happen that reassures me He is real and that He is alive in me. I believe it works for everyone, I believe my God is everyone’s God and that He loves everyone deep down no matter what. It is the step of faith you take to believe in him, the amount of trust you have in Him.
No, He never always gives immediate answers. There are times He makes us wait so long and it frustrates me too, every vessel of my body. But He does these small little things for me to remind me that He is still around looking after me, I’m still okay. I swear I know it’s Him, only God can make something like that happen, changing the schedule of the test and all, it’s mighty crazy and hard to believe, but I believe he played that song too.
God is good. He gives me strength to carry on in this crazy world.
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1 (NIV)”