Pause. I need to say Thank You.

It’s been some crazy few weeks since I came back from my holiday. Withdrawal syndromes and getting back to routine, feeling depressed and happy feels, it’s been ups and downs. I know I had a couple of posts that were pretty emo, I was emo I admit but I realized I’ve been highlighting a bit too much negative stuff. It’s really unfair to the God that has provided so much for me in the midst of all this. He does the little things to me to let me know

Hey I’m still here yoo

Anyways there’s been heaps but I’m dedicating this to the

Bucket List Prayer

Remember the bucket list post I did a couple posts back? I mentioned about going on a Mission Trip. It’s been something I wanted to go at least once in a lifetime. I wanted to do something big for God and just help and give to others in general. In my head, it was somewhere in the future maybe after university or something I might do solo or whatever. Well, the very next they at church, you wouldn’t believe it but the youth pastor came up to me and asked “Hey would you be interested in going on a Mission Trip?”

WHAT. I mean what are the odds, God has never answered a prayer with that speed before, not for something that big. Mission Trip seemed like a big thing for me. I know God can read my mind 24/7 but wooooah that quick a response is like Yo what have I been telling you.. I LIVE IN YOUR MIND. (No it’s not scary, not trying to scare anyone and I am not possessed). 

So yes I wasn’t prepared for such a fast response that suddenly fear crept in and I don’t know why. Those insecure questions came up like

Are you even ready?
You’re so insecure already in church and you want to go overseas to do whaat?
I don’t think you’re ready.. it’s too soon.. way too soon.
You’ve got to be kidding me, you can’t even speak through a mic and stand on stage.

The pastor gave me a week to think things over. To me giving me time means giving me time to think more nonsense. But God bless the birthday present I was given by my new church friend

photocred: rickhiggins

Yes it’s a book! I’m halfway through and it’s been an amazing journey so far! (I’ll do a book review once I’m done). Well God seemed to be communicating to me through Furtick the Amazebalz because during the week I read something about Fear, which was pretty much what I was going through. It was the Chatterbox the Evil that was trying to pull me back. 

Pretty much it was my Fimage ~ Fear of Image. Something I learnt at Supercamp. I was fearing everything and it was hindering me from getting my bucketlist done.

I am ready.

If God says I’m ready, I am ready.

Stuff fear.

I told the pastor today I can do it. They were still trying to convince me to go and I was like, I’m sold, I’ve been sold since midweek when I figured it out.

So yes. Stuff Fear. What a jerk. 

Let’s get this bucketlist grooovin

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